“Thanks for taking the time to read this. I try hard to advocate for my daughter since she can’t. It’s my mission in life. I have some things to share with you. And by doing so, I hope it can create and spark a change. I’m feeling so sad that I’m considering home schooling my special needs girl. So I thought I’d share my thoughts with you before I pull her out.

You see, this came crashing into me right after the empathy meeting we just had. I was asked to tell the teacher something about Elle that she may not know about her. It was easy for me to say, “ She’s so funny and silly. And playful when she’s regulated.” Her teacher said, “ I’m so sorry we haven’t gotten to see this side of her yet and I hope we do soon.” You see, a parents heart crumbles easily when it comes to stuff about their children. But this comment… it shattered me…. And made me start researching homeschooling options.

You see, you guys are doing an amazing job. We worked hard at her 5 part IEP meetings… and over countless emails. You are all doing what needs to happen and following her bad ass IEP. You’ve hired her an aide who has worked with special needs kids on the past- freakin bravo!!! Her teacher this year is so kind and understanding. This could be the year for success. But sadly, it won’t be.

You see, there’s just no place for my child in this county that we live in. My husband and I were born and raised here essentially…. Which is making us think about moving out of the area. I don’t understand why or how there isn’t a place for her… maybe there’s no money… but it’s definitely not for lack of need.

You see, when you are like Elle, she needs to learn how to take care of herself, brush her own teeth and get herself dressed correctly. She needs to learn how to communicate with peers, and how to appropriately play with them in a back and forth manner. That takes a lot of work and help. Kids in first grade are learning to read and learning conjunctions… my girl is still learning to free hand write the letters of the alphabet. She needs her own curriculum…a full day of it. She’s still trying to learn how to string together four word sentences that are organic and not some script that she’s learned from YouTube or movies. Shes got Gestalt Language Processing.. but for some reason, the school speech pathologist isn’t understanding that. She’s still trying to figure out how to tell us she needs to go to the bathroom instead of holding it all day until she’s home ( I have to say that since we’ve added timed bathroom breaks into her IEP, she’s now going potty at school!).

You say inclusion is the best. Which I agree. It’s amazing that she has a place in this typical classroom. But at the end of the day, my sweet girl, well, you see, she’s not typical. She special. And amazing. But she needs the correct environment to shine. But here’s the kicker, she’s not special enough for a special needs school. But she’s not typical enough to handle a typical classroom… even with her Cadillac IEP. You see, I didn’t always think and feel this way. It was a push push push to learn learn learn. But her Moderate Intellectual Disability Diagnosis changed that for us. We want her to be able to function in this world. To talk to people. To be able to go into a grocery store and shop and pay. To order her own meal at a restaurant. To learn to take care of her basic life needs. And… here’s the biggest thing…. To be… happy. To enjoy her little beautiful world that she lives in.

I wish someone would make a change. There’s so many kids like Elle in this area… to many Mamas sitting around pacing, not making plans, waiting for the call from the school to pick up their kid early… and I know a lot of their mamas feel the same way I do. Put yourself in our shoes… what if there was no place for your child? I don’t understand why we don’t have some sort of special needs classrooms…. Autism classrooms…. Full of color. Full of kindness and understanding.. full of kiddos just like them…. A classroom from grades k-2 even. With plenty of pec icons and schedules everywhere. A place where my girl can full time work on her letters and numbers and learn to read when she’s ready. A place where the other kids are learning what she does, at this same pace and level. A place where kids can learn by music and videos. A place for them…. Not just an inclusion room.. but truly a room that’s made to meet their needs… a place to make friends…

Now, I understand some parents don’t want this. And love their kids in a typical all inclusion room. And that’s amazing for them 🤎 But I want something different. Something that doesn’t exist up here. I’m hoping that whoever sees this, can be brave. And bring this up. And try to create something special and life changing for these kids like Elle… create a legacy. They deserve a space to belong. It’s funny because lots of these kids needs extra help and can’t get it.. not severe enough… they are in some ways the grey…… the grey in the black and white of the world…… So, I guess this is my plee…… and my closing statement… thank you for taking the time to read my letter.. and I’m begging you…. please please, help me find a space for my Daughter to belong. Our world is so grey…. And if she had a space to belong and thrive at school, well, it’d sure as hell be a lot more colorful.”

-With more love than options. Let’s stop talking and start building , A Mother Ready for Real Inclusion